and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
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