It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
