it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
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