Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
