Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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