So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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