Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
