Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
