But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
