You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
