omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
