it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize
