All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
