just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize
