Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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