he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
