i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
well you can't waste a boner
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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