Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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