I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
This house was built for laser tag.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Randomize
