You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Randomize
