The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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