doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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