Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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