Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
