Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
