all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
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