its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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