Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Randomize
