evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
