Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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