i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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