Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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