no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
