I didn't shave. On purpose
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Randomize
