Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
