Having a random hookup so left but love u
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
