Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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