Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
where are you?
Hypothermia
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
