we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
