New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
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