She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Randomize
