it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
