she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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