I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
try to milk me bitch
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