Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize