dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Randomize
