i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
