it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
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