that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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