I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize