friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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