We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
