i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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