It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
