I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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