if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
