Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
