Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
