All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
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